We all know what anger is because we’ve all experienced it, whether as a brief annoyance or intense rage. Anger is a normal human emotion, and typically, it’s healthy. However, when it becomes uncontrollable and destructive, it can cause issues at work, in personal relationships, and in overall quality of life. With this quick guide, I hope to equip you with the tools you need for dealing with anger.
Anger can make you feel at the mercy of a strong and unpredictable emotion. Unresolved anger can be harmful to your health, causing severe physical and mental health problems such as heart disease, stroke, depression, and anxiety.
Anger comes from feeling that we’ve been wronged and sometimes disguises itself. Instead of admitting that we are angry or sad, we will often admit to being frustrated or disappointed. Other hidden forms of anger are sarcasm, criticism, and freezing up.
Unresolved anger can lead us to become hardened and unwilling to see the good in life, affecting us and others. Our friends and family will see the despair in our actions and attitudes.
Tips for Dealing with Anger
By using a few simple tools, we can resolve the anger in our lives:
- Postpone aggressive reactions to your anger
- Acknowledge the feelings and don’t dismiss them
- Find the truth behind the anger
- Work to resolve the anger by understanding it
Practice Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques like deep breathing and calming imagery can help manage anger. Books and courses can teach these methods, which you can use anytime, especially if both you and your partner are prone to anger. Here are some simple steps you can take:
- Breathe deeply from your diaphragm.
- Repeat a calming word, like “relax” or a phrase, like “take it easy.”
- Visualize a peaceful scene from your memory or imagination.
- Try gentle, yoga-like exercises to relax your muscles.
- Practice these techniques daily to use them automatically in tense situations.
Change Your Thought Patterns
Angry people often use dramatic language. Instead, use more rational thoughts. For example, replace “This is awful!” with “This is frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world.”
Avoid words like “never” or “always,” which exaggerate problems and justify anger. Remember that anger won’t solve anything and often makes you feel worse. Use logic to keep perspective and recognize that daily life has rough spots. Reframe demands as desires to manage expectations and avoid unnecessary anger.
Problem-Solve
Anger can stem from real problems. While not every problem has a solution, focus on how you handle issues. Make a plan, track your progress, and be patient with yourself. Approach problems with your best efforts to avoid frustration and maintain a balanced perspective.
Communicate More Effectively
Angry people often jump to conclusions. Slow down and think before responding to heated discussions. Listen carefully and try to understand their message. Avoid defensiveness and keep cool to prevent discussions from spiraling out of control.
Use Humor
Humor can defuse anger. When angry, imagine the literal meaning of the names you call others. Drawing these images can reduce your fury. Humor helps put things in perspective and prevents taking yourself too seriously. Avoid harsh or sarcastic humor, which can worsen anger.
Change Your Environment
Sometimes, your surroundings cause irritation. Take breaks and schedule personal time during stressful parts of the day. For example, a working mother might take 15 minutes of quiet time after work before dealing with family demands. This short break helps manage stress and prevents anger.
Dealing with anger can be our best gift to ourselves. By acknowledging and dealing with anger, we can prevent the side effects that will ripple through our lives. When anger surrounds us, it is often hard to see an end to it all, but by dealing with it, we can release ourselves from our hopelessness and proceed through life on a path of happiness.
Continue to stay strong, seek help, and take the time to step back and ask yourself questions about your feelings. In doing this, you can deal with the anger when it arrives. You will learn to replace anger with emotions that will be less harmful in your life.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on October 28, 2016, and has since been updated.
