When I was adopting 38 years ago, I had to figure things out on my own. Open adoption was still new back then, and independent adoption was all but unheard of. I didn’t have any adoption advice to go by. But I was ready to be a mom and do everything possible to make that dream a reality.
I studied and tried things. Some worked, some didn’t. After networking and talking to professionals, I tacked my to-do lists, completed the necessary paperwork, mailed out adoption profiles, and asked for prayer at church.
I took everything I knew from running a successful business and put it to work for me in my adoption.
After a few months went by, I was exhausted!
Working, waiting, and hoping to adopt keeps your body and mind in continual anticipation. We can’t operate as balanced and healthy adults if we’re always in a “ready position,” just waiting to catch a baby.
Dedicate Time to Your Adoption
What I did was change things up a bit. I worked on my adoption for just one hour a day. After the hour had passed, I would put it away. There were times when I felt like working more. Some tasks took more than an hour, so I’d keep going.
Most people spend more time planning their weddings or vacations than their adoption! And while adoption is for a lifetime, a wedding is only one day. When you put that into perspective, it makes sense that hopeful adoptive parents should be dedicating time each week toward planning for their future adoption.
If you’re not already setting aside time each week for your adoption journey, it’s time to start! Adoption is a team effort; your adoption professionals need your involvement and commitment to help you successfully adopt. Staying engaged and up-to-date is an essential part of your adoption journey.
Make it a priority to invest time every week in preparing for the arrival of your baby through adoption. Here are seven things you can do each week:
- Prepare yourself for adoptive parenting.
- Use social media to share your adoption hopes and connect with other adoptive families.
- Attend adoption webinars and read adoption books to learn more about the process.
- Learn about a birth mother’s adoption experience to better understand the perspective of all involved.
- Hear from successful adoptive parents to gain insights and inspiration.
- Stay in touch with your adoption professional to ensure you’re up-to-date on the latest news and opportunities.
- Consider updating your online adoption profile to make it more appealing to birth parents.
Here I am with my son, who’s now 38!
My Adoption Story
As an avid reader, I had amassed a collection of books on infertility, newborn care, and human reproduction. I was almost hoping that by reading all those books, a baby would magically pop out of one of them.
I frequented the library and even became friends with the librarian. One day, she recommended a book on adoption, but I hesitated to read it. The book was about closed adoption, which seemed secretive and cold. But then I stumbled upon a book on modern adoption, which discussed open adoption. Open adoption felt much more comfortable, honest, and warm.
After receiving some devastating news from our fertility doctor, my husband and I had a long conversation one night. Upon realizing that the door to making our own baby was closing, we saw that the door to adopting a baby was opening.
My husband and I decided to adopt, and suddenly, there was a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. We felt excited about our future with children. Adoption was the answer to my infertility story!
This article was originally published on August 11, 2018, and has since been updated.
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