The Best Adoption Advice I Ever Gave

When I was adopting 36 years ago, I had to figure things out on my own. Open adoption was still new back then, and independent adoption was all but unheard of. I didn’t have any adoption advice to go by. But I was so ready to be a mom and do everything I could to make that dream a reality.
 
So I studied and tried things. Some worked, some didn’t. I networked and talked to professionals. I tacked my to-do lists, completed the necessary paperwork, mailed out adoption profiles, and asked for prayer at church.
 
I took everything I knew from running a successful business and put it to work for me in my adoption.
 
After a few months went by, I was exhausted!
 
Working, waiting, and hoping to adopt keeps your body and mind in a continual state of anticipation, at which we aren’t designed to be. We can’t operate as balanced and healthy adults if we’re always in a “ready position”, just waiting to catch a baby.

What I did was change things up a bit. I worked on my adoption for just one hour a day. After the hour had passed, I would put it away. There were times when I felt like working more. Some tasks took more than an hour, so I’d keep going. But limiting the amount of time I spent on my adoption allowed me to maintain balance in my life. After all, while I was waiting to become a mother, I needed to enjoy the life I have now.
 
So the best advice I have for couples starting this journey is to work at your adoption, do your best, put in all your effort, but make sure to live your life too. After you do what you need to, put it away. Too much focus on working on your adoption items will add lots of stress into your life!
 
If you’re doing all God has put before you, then put your adoption to-do list away. Tomorrow, you can see what else there is to do. Work toward the baby meant for you every day, but not all day. Take time to enjoy these days!

This article was originally published on August 11, 2018, and has since been updated.